I’ll never forget the day that I met Dawn from Didcot.

Her eyes like pools of fire, all watery and bloodshot.

I found her reminiscent of all of the four seasons.

For a very wide and varied number of notable reasons.

She was Reminiscent of Spring time, of April showers and dew.

Because every time she Shpoke, she shpat all over you.

She reminded me of Winter, of icic...

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Dear Truly Beloved Customer Care

I have a small problem with one of your wares

I’m not after a new one or a replacement spare

Just wondered if this one is not beyond repair

In Ninety-One you gave me this heart

Which really was awfully sweet

I wasn’t too smart, broke it apart

How I’ve tried to make it complete

Yet now I fear, after 23 years, it appears

I have cocked up it...

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