Sex in a rowing boat

is something i've never tried,

even though

a couple of oars

are generally supplied.

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I dreamed of Kim Kardashian

just the other day.

I dreamed that she had cellulite

and her hair was going grey.

I thought : she's just the one for me

we seemed to click and we talked

about the weather in Sowerby

and the cost of running a cat.

I escorted her to a burger van

we had a roll and coffee.

I thought she would have expected more

like champagne and banoff...

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