CURRICULUM VETO
CURRICULUM VETO
NAME: JOHNNY HYPOTHALAMUS
BORN: 02/ 04/ 1982
POSITION APPLIED FOR: PHILOSOPHER
CIRCA 1985:
Started reading the Financial Times as a three year old.
CIRCA 1989 – 90:
Wrote a little book that encrypted a scientific node to do with Gravity, helping invent the net by storing the idea of it in writing in the attic here in order that it could bloom, conducting minor experiment into the maths for the new colour as a cellular mark and separating the object ‘pollen’ from its name.
CIRCA 1990:
Made some Naturalistic Observations I don’t quite understand.
CIRCA 1990:
The second was like a living spreadsheet of plastic – and I dealt with it.
CIRCA 1993:
Was marked on what the Irish might call the forearm by the experiment into the maths for the new colour. It didn’t turn out to be the new colour in the end. In other words from here on in I wear the new colour scar, from when the maths of the new colour left a mark that didn’t turn out to be the new colour.
CIRCA 1994:
Wrote album called The Road To Heaven by Noj And The Mob, containing inflections of Popperian epistemology and Miltonian theology, exploring backward liquid maths in words and music.
CIRCA 1995:
At the end of the government-set intelligence test at the computers, at the most expensive Prep School in the known universe, upon having completed the task and been systematically ignored, typed in the rhythm of ‘Scentless Apprentice’ by Nirvana into the computer.
CIRCA 1995:
Won English Prize and French Prize at Caldicott, then the most expensive Prep School in the known universe.
CIRCA 1995:
Came into possession of a tape that was cut in the reel; and re-sealed it in a delicate operation, to create a pause in the music. An experiment was born.
CIRCA 1995:
Wrote a miniaturist poem about what went on in the I. T. Room earlier mentioned:
“Sullen, silken sulks,
we drink the same rain,
spit is clean
and so is dirt.”
CIRCA 1997:
Attained the face of stars with two friends while out night-walking in Eskdale. Still we had to walk away.
CIRCA 1998:
Began thinking of the musical genre Grime, coined the word amazeballs, and the mnemonic for the strings in Even A Dick Gets Big Erections.
CIRCA 1998:
Played gigs in London with a second band, namely Oedipus Wrecks, who had a song with the line “oceans smile with liquid eyes and fill themselves with rain.”
CIRCA 1998:
Started DIY poetry press called Ice Land Publications after the country in Brave New World where renegades are exiled who produced magazine called Poetry Now.
CIRCA 1998:
Also that year started third band in Secret Chord H. Secret Chord H made it to the radio with a song called ‘Dream With Open Eyes’.
CIRCA 1998:
Began an experiment into healing a cassette tape of Pearl Jam ‘VS’ with a pause where cut and re-sealed in the reel. That is, after setting the experiment up, I wrote a song repeating the mantra of “another, another, another fucking joint,” over and over, to see if the pause could be done away with.
2000:
Started and abandoned a Sixth form novel called The Dream Film Store.
2000:
Spoke against September 11th in the barn, when asked of the plot of Fight Club.
2000:
Predicted the hunt for the God Particle’s discovery from looking at a ballet of dust in a late ray of light angling in.
2000:
Prophesied the Plough alignment but said it would be “maybe in India” as opposed to my own backgarden. Nevertheless, those present remember me founding a new religion all about the elephant.
2000:
Wrote the highest marked English Literature A-level exam essay in the nation at 100%.
2000:
Set aside ideal for a book to write about it all called The Scientific Papers. It was to be classed as “a series of findings into itself, into the concept of art and science as a single discussion of perception.”
2001:
Started to record an album on a mate’s state-of-the-art, binaural earphones in a new band called The Flood in Cambridge.
CIRCA 2001:
Also had “effervescent” mobile phone reverberating rhythm of William Tell through every technological inlet in the room before it rang from the art smuggler nicknamed Blue.
2001 or 2:
Won place at Warwick University to read Creative Writing under David Morley by writing a portfolio about Portability as the Apotheosis of Form which included a poem called Instant Travel, written at a computer screen, in Cambridge.
2002:
Arriving at Warwick discovered my own tutor David Morley had in 2002 just brought out a book called The Scientific Papers, classed as “a series of findings into itself, into the concept of art and science writing as a single discussion of perception.” He had the extra word “writing.”
2002:
Wrote many good undergraduate pieces such as a CNF piece called Lucy In The Soul With Demons, not sure if she was an actual substance. Also wrote a poem that tried to calibrate a new, “magnetic” language by encrypting events in the mystical realm as a series of adverts for imaginary products that also satirised consumerist greed. Still, left without degree.
CIRCA 2004:
Promised on the binaural earphone record I would “plug my senses in the mains,” then left The Flood to pursue poetry and get a degree at the second time of asking, this time from my local University in the north, Lancaster.
CIRCA 2005 or 2006:
Already writing about the new A. I.
CIRCA 2008:
Hosted the alignment of the Plough and the oldest fell Black Combe which definitely concurred with the sociopolitical realm: a rhythm change in the White House.
2009:
Achieved a First Class Honours degree from Lancaster University. Undergraduate pieces included a portfolio taking the form of defaced banknotes, and a dissertation on David Morley.
CIRCA 2009:
Was diagnosed almost as soon as I remembered the two weird specimens from boyhood, with schizo-affective disorder, as if such a recognition of myself as the formal “witness from The Lords And The New Creatures” was always concurrent with diagnosis insanity.
CIRCA 2009:
Attested to large-scale skywriting at the Secret Garden Party.
CIRCA 2009:
A six song album by The Flood – recorded through binaural earphones – is made available to listen to on Soundcloud. It was recorded years earlier and contains a lyric about plugging the senses into the mains.
2010:
Attested to pint glass exploding from thin air in the capital, much like someone else also present at the face of stars had in time before me.
2010:
Noticed the witness’s name was stamped on Piper At The Gates of Dawn as if some kind of proof – maybe a musical concept from back in the band days.
CIRCA 2011:
Got together with a mate and made a solo album called ‘Songs To Record With Earphones’ [Demo 3] is available on Soundcloud.
2013:
Project on healing the tape of a pause where cut and re-sealed in the reel became successful whereupon the tape was cooked in the dark blue AGA, top oven hottest one, to make it a valid work of art, and photographed and put online.
2013:
Built The Tower of magic books like one emanating the smell of redolent flowers or Flora’s perfume and another missing a line it once had.
2013:
Computer screen bloomed a numinous purple light that filled the room. Worked at said screen almost constantly, writing.
2014:
Upon the loss of my father, I discovered a sheet where pictures grew. Pictures seem to depict the lyric from an old song from Oedipus Wrecks, London band from 1998, though the sheet belongs to my brother James P D Tucker possibly as part of a deal my dad made.
2015:
Wrote poem that falsifies the Nirvana barcode, which I made to be the beat of Scentless Apprentice by Nirvana tapped out in approximate barcode shape using the tool of the qwerty keyboard.
2015 – 2023:
Published several books, some of which were un-published later. The first was Rose Petals In The Ashtray, but I un-published it. The problem was that for some mysterious reason my computer died on the night of publication so I couldn’t even get the cover I wanted let alone the text. I crept downstairs to my mother’s ancient desktop and threw together some half-remembered scraps. Not only that but I didn’t know the meaning of the title, which my dad gave me. Things haven’t recovered ever since. When I later-unpublished the book, I brought out some self-publications. The ones that are still available online are:
Binaural Songbook
57 Paintings For Art Therapy
The Field of Rock N Roll Science
John Tucker’s Schooldays: A Spreadsheet Poem
Another 57 Paintings for Art Therapy
The New Beat
The Effect of Global Warming On The Unicorn
Word For Stained Glass Windows
154 Shakespearean Sonnets
2023:
New band with a mate - Funnelspirals - have changed name to Black Hole Myths and put a new E. P. on Grant’s Bandcamp page.
2023:
Started to record some of my back catalogue of songs for Bandcamp.
2023:
Brought out a book of song lyrics called Soundcloud Rain with Chipmunka. It is classed as a “Sound Art experiment into secret chord H” in that I sat with my songs on a file and heard the voice of Hannah telling me how to arrange them and did what she said and published the book before finding out it wasn’t really Hannah. It includes the falsification of the Nirvana barcode.
2023:
Brought out seven year old scribblings as The Sunset Child. As stated it performs several scientific functions including storing the idea of the net in writing in the attic.
2024:
Organised some recent recordings for Bandcamp. There are several albums up there now.
2024:
Brought out a new book with Chipmunka, called Breath Trapped In Heaven, comprised entirely of love poems. The idea is that including only love poems, literature may have started to release or disinhibit serotonin.
2024:
Brought out a fourth Chipmunka book, called Brave New Tense. The idea is that to write off the top of your head about your current, current situation with a New Beat, no-edits policy you can Tap the beck in the back garden here where the stars re-align.
2024:
Retracted the fourth Chipmunka book Brave New Tense from publication.
2024:
It turned out that the binaural earphones on which The Flood recorded were my own idea to invent back in the den in the barn in 2000.
2024:
Sat in the same chair as yesterday, working at the same laptop as yesterday, on the same vexed, age old questions as yesterday, wondering why, wishing I had done enough.
2024:
Considered the entirety of the data-tree, the 1000’s of files, the inchoate morass, the virtual Brainforest as the ultimate work of art and the truth as to what I had really done.
2024:
Brought out Brave New Tense again.
2025:
Realised I didn’t know how old I was. Thinking I was 43, I turned out to be 42. Wondered how long it had been like this.
2025:
Thought of all I had left out: every access of wonder, inscape of wings, piece of pollen in the pollen count, visionary proclivity.
2025:
Still, tried to be at peace.
2025:
Even just putting the sheet where pictures grew along with the set list of the band Oedipus Wrecks on Blogspot page, I feel like I am about to die and have to take them down. There was a stage where not only that was up there, but a photo of the tape, proof of the purple bleeding screen, hyperlink to the binaural recordings – and more – and it was the same then – heart trouble. It may be that I don’t get to share scientific information online.
2025:
The Oedipus Wrecks set-list + sheet where pictures grew has gone back online. The presentation therein has been described as “The God of Trons.” A tron could be a point of intersection between technology and art or a post-poetic experiment with a psycho-technological edge. Presenting the sheet like I have would probably be what a famous scientist would do having discovered the sheet.
2025:
Sat back wondering what else could possibly be done.
2025:
Took the pictures down again because my brother says my old friends only want them up there so that the pictures can belong to the New Red City. I believe the sheet still belongs to the person that laid it down and that is my brother even if the pictures depict the lyric to an Oedipus Wrecks song.
2025:
Put the piece back on the Blogspot page. The sheet + Oedipus Wrecks lyrics is a piece called ‘The Wasted Ship.’
2025:
Still had to take ‘The Wasted Ship’ (and everything else up there) down from the blog again.
2025:
Returned to philosophy, with a gift administered by the apothecary: to start with a CV, then turn inward, think.
2025:
Brought out Transition To Philosophy, also Transition To Philosophy Volume Two, also Transition To Philosophy Volume Three under the name Johannes Bergfors.
