Is this a dream I'm in, is it summertime or winter what season am I in?

My days feel like I been running forever but never making it to a destination

my back against the wall wanting to fall, 

weak and confused, feeling used and abused, 

so I isolated myself from my family and friends 

overthinking, and thinking over and over again

 

my thoughts are dark never shining light, everyday it’s a fight 

yeah, this is stressful 

thoughts of suicide crossed my mind more than once, 

why be alive when I feel as though my spirit died,

loss of self-identity I don't know myself, 

loneliness, thoughts of death, lack of social support but wait 

 

Before I forget, depression played a part of how I was feeling 

overwhelmed, self-blaming. 

I wanted to be alone home in the dark so I could think about every thought, I had,

am I always a bother to others 

I never win anything, when I walk down the street do people laugh at me? 

when people around, are they mad? I immediately think it’s because of me.

 

I just want to be free, feel good about me,

smile and be happy, really mean it 

with my back up against the wall, nowhere to run to, 

I spoke to GOD and asked him, “what should I do”? 

He told me read the word more, and that's what I did 

my days became brighter, my thoughts became clear, 

I wasn't thinking suicide any longer. 

I was thinking being alive is worth it,

God is going to help me through, I was done feeling blue. 

I put full faith in the lord, he came in and restored my confidence,

No longer was I in this dream without destination.