<Deleted User> (6895)

Mon 8th Feb 2016 16:12

Hi Katy.Once more you do not fail,but what do you think of-

'rolling violent dice
of drunken incomprehension.
Morning
sings out my sin'

fantastic lines! (just a little suggested reshuffle-but then again,what do we doddering wordsmiths know?)

;o)

P&S........ps please bring back your sexy profile pic!

Comment is about Las Vegas (blog)

Original item by Katy Megan

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 8th Feb 2016 15:39

On OUR side? Now I'm fit to be tied!
Now he says if we leave
We'll witness a jungle
Along the south coast
(Dave - comprenez-vous "bungle"?)

Comment is about WITH DAVE ON OUR SIDE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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ken eaton-dykes

Mon 8th Feb 2016 15:19

A wonderful rhyming flow of wisdom in a wicked humorous way. The last verse of which Jeremy Corbin would be proud to wind up question time.

Comment is about WITH DAVE ON OUR SIDE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Stu Buck

Mon 8th Feb 2016 14:13

reads really well this. hints of menace and quite unnerving.

Comment is about Census Report (blog)

Original item by David Lindsay

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Trevor Alexander

Mon 8th Feb 2016 14:13

Move over Bob Dylan! I like the parody as social commentary: tried it myself, but not as well as this.

Comment is about WITH DAVE ON OUR SIDE (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Stu Buck

Mon 8th Feb 2016 14:12

i love this jim! its hilarious and moving and hopeful.

Comment is about Henry & Lucille (blog)

Original item by Jim Trott

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Stu Buck

Mon 8th Feb 2016 14:11

wonderful. i live in the valleys and read this as i looked out the window at a day which you could no doubt describe better than i. gorgeous.

Comment is about Aberaeron (after the storm) (blog)

Original item by Peter Ray

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Trevor Alexander

Mon 8th Feb 2016 14:09

I like this - more a senryu maybe?

Comment is about Depressed Haiku, sort of (blog)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

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Trevor Alexander

Mon 8th Feb 2016 14:03

Very good - and a poke at our conscience!

Comment is about In Crisis (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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Robert Mann

Mon 8th Feb 2016 13:19

Shirley - like this one a lot. Evokes a feeling of lightness in more ways than one. Well written.
Rob

Comment is about Haiku Inspired By Bob Ross (blog)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

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Andy N

Mon 8th Feb 2016 12:51

thanks guys. look forward to reading this tonight.

Comment is about The Pusher (blog)

Original item by Andy N

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Laura Taylor

Mon 8th Feb 2016 11:27

Hi Jim

Thanks for your note on Bathtime.

It's a deeply unpleasant memory from childhood that has plagued me for years. I thought to try and exorcise it through poetry. Stu's take is close to the real thing.

Cheers

Laura

Comment is about Jim Trott (poet profile)

Original item by Jim Trott

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Laura Taylor

Mon 8th Feb 2016 11:27

Howdy Stu

Thanks for your note on Bathtime.

It's a deeply unpleasant memory from childhood that has plagued me for years. I thought to try and exorcise it through poetry. Your take is close to the real thing.

Cheers

Laura

Comment is about Stuart Buck (poet profile)

Original item by Stuart Buck

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Laura Taylor

Mon 8th Feb 2016 11:26

Hi Michelle

Thanks for your note on Bathtime.

It's a deeply unpleasant memory from childhood that has plagued me for years. I thought to try and exorcise it through poetry. Stu's take is close to the real thing.

Cheers

Laura

Comment is about Michelle (poet profile)

Original item by Michelle

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Laura Taylor

Mon 8th Feb 2016 11:24

I made the clarification as the Saudis are seen as our allies, and they follow a fundamentalist branch of Islam that is intricately linked to ISIS. How you managed to make the unfeasible jump to me disrespecting him I have no idea.

I've never liked words being put into my mouth so please don't do that.

Comment is about Poet reprieved from execution but still faces 800 lashes and long jail term (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Tina Rooney

Mon 8th Feb 2016 10:48

Before I became a civil servant I used to work with a mental health charity helping the patients get their life back on track. Some of them were homeless and ended up staying in hostels until they sorted themselves out. Unfortunately the charity closed down due to cutbacks. I still keep in touch with some of them though.

Keep donating monthly food parcels and sorry to hear about Sister Dorothy McGregor.
Thank you Tina. x

Comment is about Being Homeless (blog)

Original item by Tina Rooney

PeterRay

Mon 8th Feb 2016 10:44

I like the form of this poet. It reads well. I also like poems that give a sense of possibility and hope.

Best wishes,

Peter Ray

Comment is about Years (blog)

Original item by Jon Darby

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Pauliegreg

Mon 8th Feb 2016 08:00

Wow, a really good poem. Love it.

Comment is about Years (blog)

Original item by Jon Darby

<Deleted User> (13762)

Mon 8th Feb 2016 07:36

very good
Lynn -
very
clever

my
inspiration
perhaps

your
imagination
no less

but I
sense
your
old
format

has won
you back?

whatever
next -
we
wait
and
see

x

Comment is about format (blog)

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Emer Ni Chorra

Mon 8th Feb 2016 01:02

Thanks Jon... Bah!

Comment is about Jon Darby (poet profile)

Original item by Jon Darby

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Graham Sherwood

Sun 7th Feb 2016 23:29

Harry I see you're still troubling over one of my older efforts "Sis".

Having read through it one thing that comes back to me upon further reading is that it suggests my father was a violent man (nothing could be further from the truth).

Things changed that night, for my sister, parents and myself. It took the eventual death of both my parents before my sister and I could come to terms with each others feelings.

I'm humbled that you still read it and comment.

best regards,

Graham

Comment is about Harry O`N eill (poet profile)

Original item by Harry O`N eill

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raypool

Sun 7th Feb 2016 23:27

Did I feel the shadow of Betjeman with this Jim?

When the Cotswolds have a litter problem, people must die.

Thanks, Ray.

Comment is about COTSWOLD STONE VILLAGES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Jon

Sun 7th Feb 2016 22:15

Vividly expressed and upsetting...x

Comment is about THE TREE (blog)

Original item by christine yates

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Jon

Sun 7th Feb 2016 22:13

Beautifully expressed yet horrific and gut wrenching x

Comment is about EMPTY (blog)

Original item by christine yates

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Jon

Sun 7th Feb 2016 22:12

Thanks for recent comments o sister! xx

Comment is about christine yates (poet profile)

Original item by christine yates

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Jon

Sun 7th Feb 2016 22:11

Cheers for recent comment Jim...v. kind

Comment is about Jim Trott (poet profile)

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Jon

Sun 7th Feb 2016 22:09

Thanks Greg for recent comment :)

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

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Jon

Sun 7th Feb 2016 22:08

Cheers for your recent comment Ray

Comment is about ray pool (poet profile)

Original item by ray pool

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Jon

Sun 7th Feb 2016 22:07

Thanks for your comment Sister...this memory always makes me cry xx

Comment is about The Day Of Her Leaving (blog)

Original item by Jon Darby

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 7th Feb 2016 20:55

This theme suits the villanelle.

Comment is about They Are Not Gone (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 7th Feb 2016 20:26

Space grist to the mill of romantic poetry!

Mind, It`s not helpful the way space seems to be getting more dense at the same time that the particles of the down under (or within) have gone vanishingly minute.

I wish I could understand intellectual reliability of the maths equations they use to test this stuff.

Every time you see some of these scientists on the tele these days they seem to confess to being more and more puzzled.

This one is good with the aptness of the science bits to the attractional theme. (but a bit `difficult`)

It would read better without the large bold.

Comment is about Event Horizon (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

<Deleted User> (13947)

Sun 7th Feb 2016 19:36

It's good to see it all together. The progression of life. The little bits that stand out of all the days we live. What we remember. In part 3 I really enjoyed the lines "Dream Knew It Was Time Start Counting Breaths" It actually made me stop and think. Made me question at what point in our lives do we start doing that? Counting breaths? Counting days? When do we become so concerned with how many we will have left? I very much enjoyed part 3 and reading it all as a whole. Thank you for sharing xx

Comment is about GOT LIFE? (blog)

Original item by GeeProcessor

Jemima Jones

Sun 7th Feb 2016 18:11

definitely have to walk in someone elses shoes to understand this kind of terrible kind of life.Not meaning to brag but I donate monthly food parcels to the Maundy relief charity in Accrington.They do a fantastic job.One of the founders Sister Dorothy McGregor (who passed away not long ago) was truly a living saint. Good luck to you Tina,God bless.Keep the faith and keep this subject alive on write out loud.Thank you. Jemima.x

Comment is about Being Homeless (blog)

Original item by Tina Rooney

Jemima Jones

Sun 7th Feb 2016 17:57

so so true Trevor.I like your 'farewell to ziggy' poem.I am working on one called 'the man who fell to space' an 'adaptation' if you like of the film(title) he starred in called 'he man who fell to earth' His supposed last words being 'hey look up I'm in heaven' so I've taken from those words and the film title the idea for my poem.So surprised he (Bowie) didn't have his ashes sent into space like Gene Rodenberry (I think his name was) the or one of the creators of Star Trek. Very surprised indeed! would have been soooo cool!

Comment is about They Are Not Gone (blog)

Original item by Trevor Alexander

Jemima Jones

Sun 7th Feb 2016 17:47

very nice optimistic poem.

Comment is about NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE (blog)

Original item by gauri vyas

Lynn Hamilton

Sun 7th Feb 2016 16:49

Colin

Thanks for the inspiration. I jotted down a few lines called 'Format' X

Comment is about EQUILIBRIUM (blog)

Lynn Hamilton

Sun 7th Feb 2016 16:47

Hello Wolfie

It's amazing what you can do with a control button! Colin and yourself need to watch out for my next trick.

If I've understood you correctly, you are reading this as equality in a relationship between two people? If so, I totally get that as when I finished and read over and felt that too.

I wrote this from a purely economical perspective about supply, demand, the equilibrium price and how some suppliers will go to any lengths, with complete disregard for human life, to make money. Often out of harrowing situations.

Thanks for reading

Lynn X

Comment is about EQUILIBRIUM (blog)

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Jim Trott

Sun 7th Feb 2016 09:15

The come-down after the adrenalin rush.

I've often thought how awful it must be when a musician moves from playing for fun, to it becoming a job. Not sure I could ever have handled that, personally.

Nicely written. Thought-provoking.

Comment is about MUSICIANS ON THE MOVE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Jim Trott

Sun 7th Feb 2016 09:11

Hi Ray

I really like the 'old Englishness' of this, and I smiled at the "sniffiness" of Broadway.

Comment is about COTSWOLD STONE VILLAGES (blog)

Original item by ray pool

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Alem Hailu G/Kristos

Sun 7th Feb 2016 06:52

Yes thank you .But unlike other languages the English word 'you' works for both genders.
In my poems I am not expressing my feelings only. I try to express the feelings of others.
The message I want to convey reading psychology is
<<Before rushing to conjugal felicity lovers have to do ego massaging work or they have to sweet talk their lovers to bed.>>
#sweet #talking #wooing #impotence
Yes unless it is a descriptive poem the shorter a poem the better.I have 2 lines poem as well as 40 line long ones to.

Comment is about Ego-rocking words (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

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David Lindsay

Sun 7th Feb 2016 02:25

Thanks Yvonne.
I'm persevering, as you do :)

Comment is about First Walk with Hearing Aids (blog)

Original item by David Lindsay

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Vicki Ayers

Sun 7th Feb 2016 01:35

Sad yes - but better off without I think!

Comment is about Your Words (Haiku) (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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Vicki Ayers

Sun 7th Feb 2016 01:33

That they do Tommy xx

Comment is about Just in Time (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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raypool

Sat 6th Feb 2016 23:13

Greatly appreciate your sharing this, Greg and Stu.
I have numerous tales to recall - I could muster up some more musical bile in that direction, I'm sure!
I remember a line from Bill Withers' a Lovely Day "bears heavy on my mind." The problem with the bigger bands is the lack of personal expression - just being a jigsaw piece when the picture was all too familiar.
ps mortgages have to be paid.

Comment is about MUSICIANS ON THE MOVE (blog)

Original item by ray pool

Jemima Jones

Sat 6th Feb 2016 21:24

Hi Steven.Reading this poem gave me such a lovely warm feeling.So easy to 'sink into'

Comment is about Coffee for Two (blog)

Original item by steven jacobson

Lynn Hamilton

Sat 6th Feb 2016 19:27

Hi Colin. I'm breathing in and out slowly and counting backwards from one hundred. X

Comment is about EQUILIBRIUM (blog)

Jemima Jones

Sat 6th Feb 2016 18:59

is this to do with a bad choice in women Alem? Reads that way.I love poems that aren't too long winded.

Comment is about Ego-rocking words (blog)

Original item by Alem Hailu G/Kristos

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 6th Feb 2016 17:59

can't say I took much notice of the words Lynn - just gazed in wonder at the format - how does it feel?

I'll read again later. That's a promise. x

Comment is about EQUILIBRIUM (blog)

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Sat 6th Feb 2016 14:48

Sadly expressed. :-(

Comment is about Your Words (Haiku) (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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tommyfazz@yahoo.com

Sat 6th Feb 2016 14:44

"Differences make themselves" Tommy x

Comment is about Just in Time (blog)

Original item by Pixievic

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