I just like the words and their magic. The first stanza is outstanding. I do not find depression here - realism, maybe - existentialism - excitement - but not sadness.
Comment is about Look Back (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Balderdash! Besides, it was a stupid question. But very fetching poetry - in the 'short and punchy' style.
Comment is about Length & Girth (blog)
Original item by David Mac
'up to my ankles in twilight' is one of those genius lines that make reading poetry a sheer joy, and also 'every conceptual surface'. plus -- plus! This is great poetry in concept, imagery, diction and social reverberation. (I'm pretty sure that's the word I want.)
Comment is about Safety Net (blog)
Thanks, Neil. I guess "almost up to my ankles in twilight" is something akin to "not dark yet, but it's getting there."
I'd like the same tolerance and latitude extended to those who don't need it, to be extended to those who do.I'm a socialist.
What I bemoan most is the fracture of communities.At least graffiti is "home-grown", not purchased or downloaded.
I reckon you're right about the last line. I had my doubts beforehand, so it's going.
Comment is about Safety Net (blog)
Thank you so much, how lovely you all are! xxx
Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Howdy John
I was made up to find it there, was only looking for The Bidding and must have missed it first time around.
Aye, me other half is a Leonard Cohen nut, and played it to me :) I love that 'we are ugly but we have the music' line - making me fill up just thinking about it!
I shall look up that band you mention :)
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
'Ey up, Monkey!
Thanks for reading Janis.
She was a bit special, wasn't she?
We have a kid in our village who reminds me of her. I first saw her about 3 years ago when she was 13 at a school talent competition. So shy she didn't speak or look up. When the music started this huge voice opened up from the bowels of the earth. I shuddered.
She's in a local band now called the Lucettes, which you can find on YouTube.
On another front (and pulling in the thread of sexy songs) did you know that Leonard Cohen's Chelsea Hotel was about his relationship with JJ?
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
"up to my ankles in twilight". I like this line, not sure what it means though. I think I know what you're getting at in this well conceived poem, but I'm not sure whether or not you think that it is a good thing that the safety net is being removed. Are you sympathetic?
"every conceptual surface'. Irony? Or a recognition of graffiti as art? This is clearly a very thoughtful poem and there are enough clues in the title and the text without the final line. Good thought provoking stuff.
Comment is about Safety Net (blog)
Philipos
Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:40
Enjoyed this Lynn and agree with all comments thus far.
Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Philipos
Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:37
Some really powerful images here and the poem has the reader wanting to know more about the realities of the situation which is always a good sign.
Comment is about A FACET ON THE SIN AGAINST THE SPIRIT (blog)
Philipos
Fri 16th Sep 2011 10:28
I likewise enjoyed this Ann - skilful use of comparisons and language.
Comment is about owl (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
This reads like the writer is depressed - not sure exactly why but there's a muffled quality to it, an 'outside' feel. It might be the last 2 lines of the first stanza that does it.
Comment is about Look Back (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
I like this - and can understand your feelings in this. 'Weird delirium of pride' - well summed up that line.
Comment is about A FACET ON THE SIN AGAINST THE SPIRIT (blog)
Ha - only just seen this John. Janis is incredibly important to me. She totally got me through being 15 and 16 - still can't listen to Little Girl Blue without being transported back to my achingly lonely teenage bedroom.
Don't suppose you went to the Summer of Love exhibition at the Liverpool Tate a few years back did you? I was browsing around, and then saw this Porsche...looked at the notice...and it was her's! I seriously just welled right up there and then - couldn't stop looking inside, imagining her sat there, driving round.
Comment is about Janis (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Like the observation of detail in the second verse, Lynn, and the flatness of the final line.
Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Like this very much, Ann. Getting limbered up for your trip to Lumb Bank? ...
Comment is about owl (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
No, I have no liquidity problems at the moment, Ann! and I think I noted a comment from someone else that you have really been on top form recently. Concise and on the money. Keep it up!
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
nice stuff, kealan... agree with rachel over the disturbing images although my personal favourite is the 2nd stanza.. A
Comment is about Look Back (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Hello Ann. Thanks. We've millions of Kizzys addicted to their mobile phones.
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Enjoyed this, Lynn... Have you considered starting it from the 2nd stanza? Has a real power in it either way.. cheers - andy n x
Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Ah, cutting off your nose to spite your face - I'm sure we've all done that! An honest read, and a good one too!
Comment is about A FACET ON THE SIN AGAINST THE SPIRIT (blog)
Wow - thanks for recent kind comments on my poems Dave (you're not wanting to borrow a fiver are you?;)
Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by David Cooke
A good one Lynn - has a kind of flatness in the style which reflects well how you must have been feeling. I hope it was a long time ago.
Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Hi John - thanks for commenting on 'There be fairies' - I must get you to relate the story you hinted about! :)
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
<Deleted User> (6895)
Thu 15th Sep 2011 22:48
hey up!!!!
its only a cracker-thats all!!
well done you clever girl!!
me'n'her.xx
Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Dry your eyes, Lynn.
Loved the 2nd and 3rd verses best.
Comment is about Teardrops in my Coffee (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
<Deleted User> (6895)
Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:38
Hi John
hope you are back in poetical flow.
kindly thanks are yours
for your welcome comments
on my poem 'Wife'
both she and I thank you.
Patricia & Stef.
Comment is about John Embley (poet profile)
Original item by John Embley
<Deleted User> (6895)
Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:33
well chuffed Marianne
for your approval of 'Wife'
really appreciated.
Stefan.
Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
<Deleted User> (6895)
Thu 15th Sep 2011 20:25
Hi Lynn.
as always,we are grateful
for your kindness
to us both
in particular on this occasion
for comments on 'Wife'
Tricia and I send you
loadsa...xxxxxxxxxxxx
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Another gem. I must apologize, Anne, while you were so generously responding to mine I was overlooking how good all your recent poems are. So poignant and so unaffected. Lovely!
Comment is about arrival (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Catching up with your recent poems, Ann, it seems to be that somewhere along the line you have taken them to a whole new level. This one like 'Peace' is really excellent: affecting and authentic. It seems to me to be a question of inspiration rather than just technique. Greg, is right. The precision and concreteness of the last stanza are excellent.
Comment is about earth (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Hi Ann your comments on 'The Home' are fine by me!
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
See you're getting straight to the point here John, well hopefully, give me a giggle! Thanx for comment on Time after time, I won't bark it out, I can deliver some in a refined manner! cheers Jeff
Comment is about Liposuction (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Philipos
Thu 15th Sep 2011 15:18
Hello John (Townships) many thanks for commenting in your positive way.
Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Thanks, Laura. I think it's one of my better ones too.I actually prefer this kind of irregular, internal rhyming also. It is a tale that one can draw a lot from.
Thanks, Greg.It's not something I'd considered doing live. It would ask a lot of the audience, I think.
Comment is about Leprosy (blog)
This gut-fat-prick-fat-gut-fat-prick thing - shouldn't we all be recycling more?
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
It's alright for me to be a Dirty Berty - I'm a bloke! (just kidding).
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Shame, Foxy?
I remember shame.
It came alongside guilt and puberty.
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Excellent John.
I had to look up the reference but I'm better for it.
Good on ya.
Comment is about Mutemwia (blog)
Original item by John Embley
Interesting, informative, raises a lot of issues. And very well-crafted. I'm sure this would / does go down very well live, Ray.
Comment is about Leprosy (blog)
Philipos
Thu 15th Sep 2011 10:26
Re: Townships, thanks very much Laura, I know people have very strong views about RSA and I did attempt something similar to this a while back but varied the theme because I am leading a group on African poetry in October. Your kind endorsement has more value than you may have realised.
Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Oh this is goood. Not only a great story (I looked it up), but the way you've expressed it is noble, and to my mind, one of your better ones. I know you like to rhyme a lot, but this has lots of internal rhymes, which I prefer to the more obvious ones these days. There's a moral tone to it as well, that kind of 3rd person observation that can see and dissect the skewed approach of the white doctor.
Love that last line
Comment is about Leprosy (blog)
love the second verse. Powerful captions.
Comment is about Everything I Am Not And More (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Lizzie
Wed 14th Sep 2011 22:49
Thankyou, its a good thing :) x
Comment is about The end of an era (blog)
Lizzie
Wed 14th Sep 2011 22:48
Thanks :) that was lovely xx
Comment is about Just a little birdie. (blog)
Rachel Bond
Fri 16th Sep 2011 16:28
reminds me of all of us. we were all stars. till we got smashed by a ton of bricks. i think the trick is to know it and keep fighting and remember that stars are light years away and theres no rush to die in.
Its also a bit mariliyn....the voice therefore sounds sleazy..
Comment is about Girl you could have been a star (blog)