<Deleted User> (8134)
Wed 28th Apr 2010 09:02
I really enjoyed reading this, your rhymes are fantastic, and some of the words you use are brilliant. Neurosis and notice! Brilliant
Comment is about Analgesia (blog)
Nice descriptions, has an "all at once" feel, which is presumably your intent."worm casted grassland"-what's that then?bottled toothache is good and the ending is fine...
Comment is about The Park Bench 'swing'. (blog)
Original item by sian howell
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Wed 28th Apr 2010 00:15
Hi Ann. Thanks for the advice. I managed to sort the format out. on that latest blog.Cheers. Your ever grateful nephew. Ken.x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
<Deleted User> (7212)
Tue 27th Apr 2010 23:36
Hi Max - chapbooks - at the risk of boring you stiff with my opinions, I'll give it a shot anyway & hope you dont take offence. Excepting folks like eg JK Rowling, the average writer makes an annual income of £8K pa whereas the average pay for a Teacher of creative writing is around £40K pa - depressing yes? Poets BTW earn way way below that of the average writer. If you want some advice ?? here it is. My business turnover is ~ £1 million (which these days is not a lot) but we are just opening a new factory as well in the US & expanding out into Europe. We've been going 22 yrs. We work in an extremely small niche market which, to me at any rate, is the way to go these days. You dont want an enterprise where you have a lot of competition. I dont know what your other interests & strengths are, but I would think hard about what you are passionate or at least very knowledgeable about & do that. A guy who worked for me left to make handmade plastic chesspieces - er, no - the chinese can do that for 100th of the price. If you were talented & maybe doing them in solid gold... maybe a different matter. Another thing is that if you watch dragons den everyone thinks you need a bank/investor loan of £100K which is bollocks - I started off with nothing & built very slowly. The hard part is having the idea - it does not need to be a new invention, but you do need to specialize - and be aware that working for yourself is very hard work indeed, but can also pay way better than working for anyone else. for example - my brother in law prints & sells unique/arty Tshirts on the net from london & makes about £30K - not great but easy to do & not too shabby money-wise. I'm just trying to reiterate that publishing poetry is not the route to riches - unless you can maybe think of a unique way of doing it?? I hope I've not bored you too much. all the best. B
Comment is about Max Wallis (poet profile)
Original item by Max Wallis
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Tue 27th Apr 2010 23:35
Hi Ann. I didn't intend it to be in one great lump, just the way it turned out after pasting.Anyway it's nice to find I have a surviving relative.Great Aunts are very thin on the ground at my age. Ken.X
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
<Deleted User> (7212)
Tue 27th Apr 2010 23:01
a chapbook is a cheap small book (paperback generally upto ~ A5). Max - IMHO - a very noble ambition as everyone wants to be in print, but there are hundreds of other chapbook printers & none of them makes any money (except maybe the con-artist vanity publishers). I dont want to discourage you from your plan, but, joking aside, you'll make more money flipping burgers at McDonalds. Just my 2 cents. Sincerely - all the best.B
Comment is about Chapbook (blog)
Original item by Max Wallis
Hello Alison, I've kept coming back to this and keep waiting for some other feedback to see if they agree with my thoughts. No luck so here goes.
I found occasional rhyming a bit hard to get my teeth around (sure more, shade glade etc) when other lines didn't. Your feelings of lightheadedness balance nicely with the lofty subject matter too.It's clever work. I imagine the photo is preciously relevant but I think it takes away from the writing. Keep it going Alison.
Comment is about Moral High Ground (blog)
Original item by Alison Smiles
Hello Sian, so good to see you back and with yet another strong piece. This provoked in me a more performance feel to it. Are you going to do it?
Alliterations are effective, and your angst about your observations is very apparent. Graham
Comment is about The Park Bench 'swing'. (blog)
Original item by sian howell
<Deleted User> (7212)
Tue 27th Apr 2010 20:32
ay lass, tha's reet - if we all had a good gawp every now an then t'world'd be a much better place. just off fer me tripe & whippets...
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
I'm glad you cleared that one up Ann, LOL. Very sensuous, as Francine says. I love any celebration of the proper feminine curvy form - about time men tried to see this perspective. Let's banish all these anorexic stick creatures.What a super analogy marsh mallow makes - you can just imagine falling into it.
Now write me one about the male form please - and do make it snappy! xx
Comment is about marshmallow (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Thanks for commenting Greg. The world has so many beautiful and/or characterful bridges. In just Britain, Clifton, Erskine, Severn, Ironbridge, Menai, Forth, Humber, Gateshead,Ribblehead, Tyne etc. plus practically any canal bridge and most small rural bridges. And that's just the UK. But the poem is about more than just stone/bricks. I really liked your St Leonards Church.
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
dedicated catholic? im certainly not, i was comparing modern israeli imerialism to the foreign policy of the roman empire during jesus' time.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Really beautiful Marianne. "Name me in your heart" such a great line. Is it a plea, an instruction, an order? I wonder!
Comment is about The Birthday Comb (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Rachel Bond
Tue 27th Apr 2010 14:37
oh my marianne...sharp intakes of breath later..this is perfect,
He sweeps her feet and tastes the walk, and shirks the woe wide, and with a voice like crystals drowning, he beguiles:
"Your heart is my heart."
and after all that talk of greying rivers..
only women write the true romances...
Comment is about The Birthday Comb (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Kenneth Eaton-Dykes
Tue 27th Apr 2010 12:04
Catch on quick don't I. Ken E.D.
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Interesting ideas in your poem about bridges, Dave. I like bridges; take lots of photographs of them. Which is your favourite bridge?
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
<Deleted User> (7212)
Tue 27th Apr 2010 09:05
Hi Ann - "Amongst Equals & For Now" - many thanks for your kind comments. The latter could indeed be a cat looking at a king - I never thought of that - but it was just me, on a first date, gawping. B
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
I think your poem is really good. I esp like the last verse. To be able to write about this sort of subject in such a no-nonsense straight way makes it all the more touching. Hope your better health continues and hope to see more of your stuff on WOL.
Comment is about John E Marks (poet profile)
Original item by John E Marks
Dunderhead that I am, I don't really know what a chap book is. Enlightenment sought? x
Comment is about Chapbook (blog)
Original item by Max Wallis
I love loved the heart strings being like puppet strings, it's minging but in a good way, I wanted more of his organs to be used by her, this poem has given me loads of ideas, cheers Kenny!
Comment is about The Marionette (blog)
Original item by Steven Kenny
Rachel Bond
Mon 26th Apr 2010 22:11
ive written a jesus poem...i was inspired...it sort of about the battles between christianity and islam...i wont be putting it on here tho cos im not offering myself for crucifixion by anybody's political arguements.
youll have to come round and read it over a brew. we could re write jesus christ superstar on the guitar and ill get some batteries for my recording device this time x
Comment is about Modern Saviour (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Hi Marianne. an appendix of thanks. Loved th whole thing. Win x
Comment is about Blowback (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Rachel Bond
Mon 26th Apr 2010 21:17
dance is my life ann...its a tragedy that i dont get to perform every single day...it should be written in to the national curriculem of our lives...3 hours off in the afternoon for the style of your choice. since i gave up my dance career I have been mainly enjoying the argentinian tango...you know of it?
oh and i love Barry White...but thats for another kind of dance altogether ;)
Comment is about dance round the kitchen it's SUNDAY!!! (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
<Deleted User> (5011)
Mon 26th Apr 2010 21:00
dancing is good: great exercise, good for the old mental bits. But that music puts me off Ann! I am more your paso doble, or a bit of celidh dancing: get that willow stripped!
yours aye.
Comment is about dance round the kitchen it's SUNDAY!!! (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
I do not dance well... or even at all really :-(
Comment is about dance round the kitchen it's SUNDAY!!! (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
<Deleted User> (5593)
Mon 26th Apr 2010 20:04
Photos by Gemma Lees
Comment is about Old Boars Head, Middleton April 2010 (photo)
<Deleted User> (5593)
Mon 26th Apr 2010 19:26
Photographs by Keith Ainsworth
Comment is about Cassius at the Egg Café, Liverpool April 2010 (photo)
Thanx for your comment on 'Playing Polo'. It started as rant against 'what have you got' kind of thing. Combined with my secret dream that I am really a prince who was deposited with a poor family to protect me from assassins and that one day I will be offered the kingship of Norfolk, or some such, and have flunkies, groupies and be in the Beatles and so on...
;)
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Yes. although I live in Grimsby, I regularly visit Reading where my mother still lives. They have a Poets' Cafe every third Friday of the month and quite an established community of good poets. I tend to make my visits coincide with it. I'll see if I can dig something ecclesiastical out for a blog!
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
<Deleted User> (7075)
Mon 26th Apr 2010 16:43
Hi Liz an official hello andwelcom from the admin team. Hope you enjoy exploring our site. Winston
Comment is about Liz Millar (poet profile)
Original item by Liz Millar
<Deleted User> (7075)
Mon 26th Apr 2010 16:39
Hi Steve, welcome to WOL. Hope you enjoy thesite and all its foibles! winston (Admin):-)
Comment is about Steve Tasane (poet profile)
Original item by Steve Tasane
<Deleted User> (7075)
Mon 26th Apr 2010 16:07
Hi Stephen... Good to see you on here. we have met at Hebdenandat the Beehive poets (I should get down there again soon) Good to see you writewhilst cycling, me too! if you post a poem as a blog entry people ar mor likely to come accross them and comment. win
Comment is about Stephen Pass (poet profile)
Original item by Stephen Pass
<Deleted User> (7075)
Mon 26th Apr 2010 16:01
An offfical if dalayed welcom back from the admin team :-) Win
Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)
Original item by Shoeless Carole
I like this poem it has some great points
Comment is about Modern Saviour (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Agree with Cynthia. It's a report from the frontline. And I like the rhythm of it too
Comment is about A Working-Class Family Go Out Shopping With Very Little Money, In The Hope That It'll Last 'Till The End Of The Week. (blog)
Hi Pete, hope you are well. This is great stuff. Particularly liked the 'harder' tinge you give to the potentially sloppy sentiments as you describe things - black sea / leatherd hide / tarter / withering hand. It gives the poem a realism and strength. Win xx
Comment is about ankle chain (blog)
Really good. As a social comment, short, punchy, and true. Strong last thought is compelling as the summary because its point is universal.
Comment is about A Working-Class Family Go Out Shopping With Very Little Money, In The Hope That It'll Last 'Till The End Of The Week. (blog)
Superb, Tom, in topical content, and in poetical skill.
Comment is about My mother used to believe she'd run people over... (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
A good social poem with many fine images. In my opinion, it gets a tad 'jumbled'. Since this is probably one of the effects you want, perhaps it is in re-formatting that this becomes a stronger poem. Clever title.
Comment is about The Park Bench 'swing'. (blog)
Original item by sian howell
A great idea, with some very fine images. Sounds quite 'immediate'. I would love to see it tightened; and I do not think it would lose that element of joyous spontaneity if done carefully. It is emotion that carries it through as it is. I do know that is exactly what you wanted. I still would like to see the whole somewhat harnessed, more of a 'postcard' than a 'letter'.
Comment is about A postcard from Happiness (blog)
Reading your marvellous poem, Tom, I was reminded of Beckett's Krapp's Last Tape, and the way the character repeats the word "spool". The image of the fragility of the theatre set a few lines down reinforces that. Very wry and honest: I particularly like the music of the final lines.
Comment is about My mother used to believe she'd run people over... (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Hi, Kealan. Thanks for responding. No, I totally got the 'Hamas' thing; in so many ways the early Israelites were 'terrorists' of their era, god-oriented or not. In my opinion, I think it was introducing the idea of 'woman' into the mix, in any form, that diluted rather than augmented your idea. I did enjoy Rachel's comments. Perhaps she picked up 'ghosts' far better than I did. Maybe one has to be a committed Roman Catholic to fully understand the dynamism of the idea of Virgin Mary as 'perfect woman'. Maybe that wasn't your intent at all. I also wondered about 'admitted', but I have heard that word used. 'committed' is better, no question; avoids a 'bump' in getting your ideas started clearly.
Comment is about Kealan Coady (poet profile)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Morning, David, good to hear from you. St Leonard's was written after a walk Gillian and I took with our daughter Kate. I just did it as an exercise really, listing the images I remembered, then trying to shape them into a sonnet in the early mornings while others were in bed. I find it's easier to do when you're in someone's else's flat or hotel room and don't have to worry about/find displacement activities such as filling the dishwasher or the washing machine. At least it's a recent effort: the previous two I put up here were three or fours years old! Look forward to reading more from you, old churches or otherwise. Btw, did I overhear a conversation here in which you said you sometimes read in Reading? I did a spot at Guildford last week
Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)
Original item by David Cooke
Pete Crompton
Mon 26th Apr 2010 09:56
wow! ok
first of all may I thank everyone for the debate and interest and comments on this. It feels positive to invoke such a hijack, but its not a hijack. The benefit of writing is to inspire and hopefully move people, I think that the sincerity in the poem has made it through so Im pleased about it so much, thanks.
ok regarding the poem. For me it is about the 'standard' love. The default setting of powerful love, how it only has to be itself and needs not to try and be anything sparkly, it just naturally has the power. Its about the simple mechanics of love and wanting to share the simple yet complex feeling. Galvansing is used to protect steel from rusting and actually benefits from weathering and the elements. The coating benefits from oxidisation, in the same way all that life throws at us gives strenght to true loving bonds, shared experiences good and bad just make more strength in the love, giving us victories to be proud of, my idea was that gold is to surface and not as practical an ankle chain and whilst all the sparkling beauty, all the fancy ceremonies and massive weddings mean nothing compared to a genuine core of love, you can have both and thats fine, i.e true deep love AND all the fancy gold and trappings, but theres no need, the practical truth speaks much more and is more potent, if you scratch it it re-heals (as does galv), thats what I mean about being 'sulphate' and 'oxidised'
galv is used to protect from the sea salt too, and barnacles can cling to it but when removed the metal is intact. The chink/chain metaphor was the 'knocks' along the way that we just smiled at, it all brings us together even tighter. I visualsied the ankle chain whilst writing and i saw the letters stuck togehter by the process (as it does) the zinc galv locks the once seperate letters into one complete unit, almost bomb proof, very strong. There is a lot of resiliance and strength in the poem juxtaposed with the traditional idea of a fragile ankle chain, the whole idea being to demonstrate the lovers obcession with the simple enduring love he has for his partner. The proud willingness to share comes at the end of the poem- how can I keep this amazing thing to myself, he/she must share this for the other couples or 'the envied grin of the single'
I hope I have not spoiled this !
there are things I can improve and expand on in the poem, im not sure its finished, this was typed straight out.............
once again thanks Isobel, Racheal, Ann, Val, Francine, Jane.
im off to read my milns n boon.
xxxxxxxxx
Comment is about ankle chain (blog)
Hi Greg Old Churches are right up my street. I might post one of mine when I get a minute - all been very hectic this end. Anyway like this one a lot, especially the cadence of 'a thousand years of belief and hope sing across the city'. Also like the matter of fact ending. keep 'em coming.
out across the city.
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Great poem, the obsessions so realistically described. I love the spooling and spooling till sanity decamps the rail esp. (Should it be a theatre set, not just theatre set?) Never disappointed by your stuff. (No pressure then - don't obsess about it!) xx
Comment is about My mother used to believe she'd run people over... (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
writing from a man's point of view John. signed A. Marshmallow
Comment is about marshmallow (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Not easy to live with... Your poem brings that to light.
A very thought provoking poem.
Comment is about My mother used to believe she'd run people over... (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
<Deleted User> (8134)
Wed 28th Apr 2010 09:05
The ending left me snickering like a schoolboy! Great celebration of the female figure, curvy women of stick thin any day!
Comment is about marshmallow (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove