I met her one night at a nightclub

      And ended up walking her home,

She asked what I thought of her haircut

     I said it could do with a comb.

She invited me in for a coffee

      I said 'Have you got any tea?'

She told me she fancied a cuddle

      And plonked herself down on my knee.

She nuzzled my neck on the sofa

      And started caressing my thigh,

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I know what people think.

I know what they say behind my back.

I've heard the whispers and the laughter

I've seen the pitying looks they give me and the expressions of

        disgust that cross their sickened faces as I shuffle sadly by.

I know I embarrass them

I know I make them feel ill at ease

I know they'd rather I sneaked away and died in some dark,

        forgot...

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One evening in winter we walked in the snow

It seemed so romantic, but wouldn't you know,

The next day I found her confined to her bed,

With rheumatic fever and cold in the head.

A fortnight she lay on the threshold of death

Her body ablaze in the battle for breath,

And though she recovered for me it was worse

For once she was well she ran off with her nurse.

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They sent me to a specialist,

    They didn't say in what,

He told me I was positive,

    I wonder what I've got.

I hope it's nothing serious,

    I hope it's nothing bad,

I hope it's something someday I'll

    Be proud that I once had

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She went away in winter when the leaves are hung with snow,

I searched for her and searched for her as I could not let go,

And finally when I found her after fifteen years of fret,

She looked me in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry, have we met?"

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It's funny what can trigger a daydream:

The smallest nothing is often enough

To make me forget real life and set off

On some vague journey through my favourite theme

Of how wonderful existence would be

If I had more luck. Yes, such dreams, Lord knows,

Help pass the time, but it does worry me

A little that the gap between what goes

On in my head and in reality seems

To be...

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My girlfriend walked out recently,
    She said she'd had enough,
She threw a glass of wine at me
    And stormed off in a huff.
And now she's spreading gossip of
    The hell I put her through,
And this that really makes it hurt
    Is all of it is true.

She's saying I am broken down
    And long since past my prime,
She's saying I am tedious 
    And dull before my time,
She's...

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We never walked this way together,

   We never sat down here to chat,

We never spoke of future plans,

   Of hopes and dreams and things like that.

We never caught the last bus home,

   We never shared a cigarette,

We never kissed at your front door...

   In fact we never even met.

But if we had, oh if we had,

   Who knows what things we could've done,

What lovely...

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There's a tidal wave in Tonga
   There's a blizzard in Bombay
There's a whirlwind in Wyoming
   And a lockdown in LA
There's a power cut in Paris
   There's a panic in Peru...
But what the hell do I care
   When I'm lying here with you?

There's a flood in Famagusta
    There's a famine in Milan
There's an avalanche in Aspen
     And another in Japan
There's a deluge in New Dehli
   ...

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