I have a problem,

her name is "My Wife".

She claims the house is her domain,

but complains when I call myself "King of the Car".

She hates driving,

so I graciously drive on family trips

and she gets to turn around and 

try and make the kids shut up.

"I have to pee!"

"I'm hungry!"

"She's bothering me!"

And of course, the classic,

"Are we there yet?".

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People line up at my door.

I ignore them.

It’s windy and rainy and cold

inside.

They line up, 

and frantically shout at me,

asking me 

why the sun is gone inside.

I am drenched,

cold, and rubbed raw

by the wind and snow,

blowing on my face.

I want to step outside,

but people will run to me

and ask me why 

it is raining inside.

I w...

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